Everyone gets jealous at least once in their life.

Well, usually more than once. It’s quite inevitable, don’t you think?

We normally see our flaws and other people’s talents. In the end, we compare ourselves to them, one way or another.

I have to admit I’ve been quite acquainted with the green-eyed monster already to know how insecure I am about myself. No matter how many times I tell myself that I’m not as bad as I think, I still end up comparing myself to other people.

It’s become a habit. A bad one at that.

I see someone who I think is really talented and amazing and I admire him or her for a while but I sometimes wish I was that person with all those talents.

You’ve wish you were like the idol or hero you looked up on since you were a kid, don’t deny it. That idol might have been your older brother or sister and you just wished you could get out of his or her shadow and be on the limelight for once.

Jealousy is something that everyone feels. No surprise there.

People have insecurities.

Even those people you think are perfect have their own insecurities. The movie She’s Out of My League shows us that with the tagline, “How can a 10 go for a 5?”

So why am I here writing about something everyone must already know? Why bother add to the ever-growing size of the data on the World Wide Web?

Well, like I mentioned above, I can never get over not being jealous.

I’ve told myself loads of times (but apparently, not enough), that I too have many talents. I too am a pretty girl who is loved (not being vain here!).

But why is it that when I see someone who I think is prettier than I am, or someone who I think is more talented than I am, I feel a pang of pain in my chest.

Whenever I see a name, a photograph, a video, a drawing, a message, or whatever that is linked to someone I think is better than me, I can feel the green-eyed monster standing behind me, telling me “She’s better. She’s way prettier. She’s more talented. She’s more special than you will ever be.”

Whenever I feel that, I end up hating myself. I immediately try to erase that single moment when I caught a glimpse of something I didn’t want to see. But it won’t go away. It just lingers and tries to consume all your thoughts.

I hate myself for being jealous. I hate myself for being insecure. And I hate myself for allowing myself to be consumed by jealousy, time and time again.